23 Dec 5 EASY ways to break gender stereotypes for your kids

Research shows that kids who don’t adhere to gender norms tend to do better academically, and are more flexible and more accepting of other people’s differences

“Kids have this amazing, natural ability to see the world as limitless, but when adults signal that certain things or behaviours are off limits for kids based on their gender, their worlds get smaller and smaller—and that’s not just sad, it can be damaging as well”

Developmental Psychologist Andrea Bastiani Archibald, Ph.D.

BUT parents can make a big positive difference! And here’s how……

1. TREAT ALL TOYS AS SIMPLY GENDER-FREE

Make sure your children have a range of toys available to them and don’t make anything off-limits. That means, for example, ensuring your sons have the opportunity to play with dolls. Or your daughters have the option to play with cars – toys that are regularly (wrongly) seen as “for boys” or “for girls”.

Of course, your child will have certain preferences as they grow older, but by providing them with an unlimited choice it will mean they can be their true selves. Not what they’re told they “should” be.

2. USE EXAMPLES OF REAL PEOPLE CHALLENGING GENDER “NORMS”

From women working in male-dominated industries to female pop stars sporting short hair. From male actors wearing makeup to men showing they’re sensitive and emotional. People smash gender stereotypes every day and it’s up to us to make sure our kids witness it.

They may not have the opportunity to meet a female astronaut, a male nurse, a female firefighter, or a male nursery worker for example, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find these examples in books. At Simply Gender Free we’ve made it easy for you to find books to help you do this, with this link to the best book choices we’ve found so far.

One of our particular favourites is My Shadow is Pink, by Scott Stuart.

3. GRAB THE OPPORTUNITY FOR DISCUSSION WHEN IT ARISES

When you witness your kids saying something sexist, or someone is sexist to them, see it as an opportunity for discussion and a wonderful chance to put it right.

We can’t control everything our kids see and hear, and that’s especially true when they’re with their peers at school. It doesn’t mean you can’t put it right though. So if your son says, “girls can’t play football” or your daughter doesn’t want to try something that’s seen as “for boys” then discuss the issue and give them evidence to prove the sexist view is incorrect.

Making them aware of the existence of gender stereotypes isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it will also help encourage them to analyse things more critically and look for the truth.

4. TREAT ALL CLOTHES AS SIMPLY GENDER-FREE

Wearing any sort of clothing won’t change who they are as a person, it’s just a way of them expressing how they feel in that moment. Clothes choices show their most genuine self and to restrict that would be unhealthy. Of course, there are environments they have to wear certain clothes e.g. school, a wedding, but you can still give them choices within that frame of appropriateness, even if it’s just what pants they have on, always provide room for choice.

If your child shows an interest in a style of clothing, don’t restrict them. Let them experiment and play. Your son might want to wear a dress because he’s seen his sister wear ing one, he likes the feel of it, or he just wants to try it out. The same with girls if they wear something usually targeted at boys, avoid terms such as, ‘tom boy’ etc because it’s unnecessary and suggests to them they shouldn’t be wearing it if they’re a girl. We have a growing selection of gender-free clothes available in our shop if you’re not sure how to get started.

5. LEAD BY EXAMPLE

A really easy stereotype to fall into is household chores. Whether that’s the household role we demonstrate ourselves, or the choice of chores we give to our children. Domestic tasks like washing the dishes, or setting the table often go to the girls, whereas boys get the physical tasks like cutting the grass or washing the car. Mix it up and mindfully divvy up the household help. Even better, try to break gender stereotypes yourself and prove that no particular job is just for a male or female.

Also think about the way you speak. Do you give girls (your daughters, your friends, your family) more compliments about their looks, rather than their abilities? How do you speak to the men in your life? The more mindful you are of this, the better example you’ll set for your kids.

And when it comes to activities make sure to embrace adventure with your girls. Or offer your boys the option to do things they may not do otherwise. I know my son doesn’t like crafts, but loved the idea of painting his toe nails all sorts of colours. They will have their own tastes and interests, but try to explore a range of things to do together.

If you liked this article please click the Facebook icon below and share it with your friends. The more parents we reach, the quicker we’ll smash gender stereotypes that limit our children.

Lots of love, Kat xx